I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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