This dress was meant to end up on your floor
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
