Do you still have your period?
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize