Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
