if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Randomize
