A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
How drunk are you?
Completed.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
