Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I use my feet as sexual weapons
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
