I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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