They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize