i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
