I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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