I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
