I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Randomize