so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
