so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize