Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
