What did we do last night that was yellow?
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
