I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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