yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I am naked and annoyed.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
