Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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