I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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