Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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