Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
