Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
