We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
