I wanna bring you to show and tell
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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