I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
