Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm having to shit out rocks
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