dude i'm inner monologue high
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
