do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
