need another drink. this is the easiest way
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
