i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
