i can't believe i had my finger in that
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
