Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
i think i have herpe
just one?
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Randomize
