you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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