There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
