she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
foreskin is a definite game changer
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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