also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
