I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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