somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
