What did we do last night that was yellow?
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
