Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
