im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
