So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
