My first STD was from a foam party
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I just gift wrapped bread.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
