Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
He shit in the fireplace
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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