Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Randomize