Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
