Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
My ATM looks so different sober.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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