Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
