He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Randomize