So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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