My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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