what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
