I wish you could order shots online.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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