If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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