Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
