porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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