Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Randomize
