I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
