Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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