Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize