Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
