you would pick up someone in the library
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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